Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Worth?

I am a type of person that doesn't need the spotlight. I don't do fancy stuff just to be recognized by the "big bosses". I don't do "things" just to please them. I execute my work through my best effort and with all my knowledge. I don't let "them" make a puppet out of me. From Day 1, I never worked for fame.


Three years. Three years. What should I be thankful for? I am not blaming anyone. I chose this. I decided to stay. I had hopes (which are all, by the way, gone now). There were a lot of if's but yeah, I stayed. I believed. I believed... *sigh*


On the other hand, "this" provided me a (somehow) solid foundation to my career. I learned. I became more mature. I gained knowledge with the help of SOME people around me but other than that, thank you to me that I learned those things (I am not bragging or anything, its just reality).


HOWEVER, since I was able to gain something, I needed to face these consequences (which I think and I believe should not be happening). I (We) need to fix every Government-mandated contributions (which is supposedly the responsibility of "them").


But wait, there's more!!! After three years, "they" ceased their operations AND another "them" was opened which we are obliged to be part of it. And since "them" is no longer "they", all the responsibilities of "they" were no longer shouldered by "them". That is the reason why I (We) need to personally make the follow ups on everything related to "they".


Three years... Three years...


Now, I wanted to escape. I don't want to be used. I DO NOT WANT TO BE USED AGAIN.


I'm sorry if this entry is not organized. I have a lot of things in mind. I just needed to let this out.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The Book Enterprise

I have returned to my addiction, READING!!!


My Goal is to buy at least one book every payday and (hopefully) share my insights about it. :)

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Gay2Gay

This was just a random thought last weekend. I do not know if this was already published by other bloggers and/or writers but the heck, this is my blog, I can write whatever I want.

I woke up in the middle of the dawn. Hungry. Since my place is not the usual urban place where you can still get whatever you want at 3 o'clock in the morning, I have to get up (and walk) to look (and find) for an open convenient store. READ MORE

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Scared...

"Neng, may irereto ako sa yo huh?"

This is where it started. A good friend of ours was the bridge for us to know each other.

I am not really a fan of this kind of setup for some unknown reason. But I prefer this rather than getting “captivated” in some wild bars and/or in an explicit website.

“Sige ba. Bigay mo number ko sa kanya. You know that I do not do the first move right?” (Sabay tawa)

I agreed. I thought of giving it a shot. Why? I have been single for quite some time now. The longest I believe. Dati kasi, pagka-break, isang buwan lang, meron na kapalit agad. Sunud-sunod. Walang pahinga ang puso. Feeling ko, pagod na pagod na nga ang puso ko.

Yes. Its been almost a year (estimate lang po) mula ng magbreak kami ng last ko. Like other break ups, masakit din siya syempre. Nagmahal ka eh… But you have to move on. This transition was smooth on my end and thanks to the support of my dearest friends.



Fast Forward.

There’s a missed call listed in my temporary phone. I did not respond at first because I do not want to be rude. I do not have my contact list in that phone.

“Neng, nasaan na yung nirereto mo? Wala namang paramdam pa sa akin eh.”



Next Day.

Got a missed call again from the same number. I responded then.



For some reason, I felt the excitement when I found out that it was him. The guy that my friend is talking about.

Well, he is actually not the topic of this entry. I’m hoping that I can write things about him some other time.

Anyway, I am afraid. I must admit, I do like him. I feel that I am falling for him. But I am afraid. What if this won’t work again? What if he is also not ready yet?

So many questions…

Or maybe, here I go again… Taking it too fast…

Maybe…

Waaaahhhhh!!!

Friday, January 21, 2011

Habang Tumatagal... Lumalala...

'Di malaman kung ano ang gagawin

Sa damdamin na 'di ko maamin

Sa sarili

Kung bakit ka pa ba nandiyan

Sabi-sabi ng mga kaibigan ko

Huwag mong pilitin ang 'di para sa 'yo

Ngunit bakit hindi kita malimutan

Sa 'yo ba'y OK lang

Habang tumatagal, lumalala, laging nagwawala

Tumitindi, umiinit, sumasakit ang dibdib

Kaya ako'y gumawa ng awiting ito na alay ko sa 'yo

At sana'y pakinggan mo

Huwag ka sanang magugulat sa akin

'Di ako sanay sa ganitong suliranin

Huwag kang matakot hindi ako manloloko

Kung OK lang sa 'yo

Habang tumatagal, lumalala, laging nagwawala

Tumitindi, umiinit, sumasakit ang dibdib

Kaya ako'y gumawa ng awiting ito na alay ko sa 'yo

At sana'y pakinggan mo

Ngayong alam mo na, sana'y 'di ka mainis

At pasensya na kung ako ay makulit

Pero kung gusto mo, ako na lang ang lalayo

Kung OK lang sa 'yo

Habang tumatagal, lumalala, laging nagwawala

Tumitindi, umiinit, sumasakit ang dibdib

Kaya ako'y gumawa ng awiting ito na alay ko sa 'yo

At sana'y pakinggan mo

Kung OK lang sa 'yo



Kung Ok Lang Sa'Yo by True Faith


For the person that will never be mine... =(

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Till then... Angel will spread his wings and fly...

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Soul Searching

15 January 2010, Puerto Galera

One week before the date, I have been so stressed with everything that's happening in my life. I am literally dragging myself para pumasok sa work. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Kakakalahati pa lang ng unang buwan ng tao pero pakiramdam ko, kalahating taon na ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko. Then, ayun, naisip kong mag-biyaheng mag-isa. Go somewhere alone. I wanted to be away from the city.

The day before 15th, I was actually still undecided where to go. My first option was to go to Tagaytay. Even early morning of 15th, wala pang buong decision. Inisip ko, kung Tagaytay, ano naman ang ibang gagawin ko dun, kaya ayun, Gumora ako sa Galera.

I had fun actually. Masaya mag-travel na mag-isa. Walang ibang iisipin kundi sarili lang. Walang ibang dapat i-consider. Sobrang inenjoy ko yung paglalakad. Pag-hahanap ng sasakyan. Pagbili ng kakainin.

Few things I realized after my trip to Galera:
  1. Masarap maging single. Ieenjoy ko itong moment na ito. I realized na masyadong sunud-sunod ang mga relationships ko. Walang pahinga puso ko sa sakit. Besides, singlehood is fun. Wala kang dapat iconsider sa mga gagawin mo. Hindi mo dapat magpaalam kung ano gagawin, kung saan pupunta. Go party. Magpaka-wild. Meet a lot of people.
  2. Masarap mag-travel. Hindi ako galang tao. I mean, ayoko sa malayuang biyahe. But after my trip, gusto kong bumiyahe ng bumiyahe. I planned to go out of town atleast once a month. Kahit saan ang destination. Kahit mag-isa.
  3. Work Hard, Party Hard. When I say party hard, hindi lang nomo ng nomo. Have fun as well. Focus sa work but once in a while, treat yourself ng kahit na ano, kahit simpleng 3 in 1 na kape.
  4. Galera is a paradiso. I have been to Galera couple of times na noon pero after this trip, sobrang na-inlove ako sa Galera. Siguro dahil its my first time to go there alone. Naappreciate ko ang peace of mind na kaya niyang ibigay. Naappreciate ko ang mga simpleng bagay. Ang simpleng pamumuhay.
  5. Maganda ako. Hahaha... Wala nang kokontra. Hindi ko na ieelaborate kung ano ibig sabihin nito, siguro naman, alam niyo na kung bakit. =)
Sobrang sarap sa pakiramdam. Re-charged ako. Positive ang vibes. Gusto kong ulitin ito, soon.

Gusto ko pang isulat ang ibang detalye ng trip ko pero wala pa akong time. Balik na agad sa trabaho eh...

=)

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Till then... Angel will spread his wings and fly...