Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Love and Work


December 2008 - Mid of 2010
Trabaho. Bahay. Gimik. Bahay. Date with bf. Bonding with bf. Inom with bf. Bahay.
Trabaho. Bahay. Gimik. Bahay. Date with bf. Bonding with bf. Inom with bf. Bahay.
Ganito ang routine ko dati. Kayang pagsabayin halos lahat ng gusto kong gawin. Siguro dahil sa hindi ganun ka-demanding ang time sa trabaho. Yeah, I am working for a start-up company but during those times, I am not that busy. I am just actually reporting for work before to train (if I have a class); update some processes, documents, etc.; conduct some interviews with applicants; facebook; read blogs; surf the web; smoke; eat; facebook; read blogs; surf the web; makipaglandian at makipagharutan sa floor.

When I had my relationship with my current boyfriend, I was still able to bond with him. In fact, nadadala ko pa siya sa loob ng opisina. Naghaharutan kami sa station ko. Eat together, smoke together, at makipagharutan with my friends. I was able to give almost my whole attention to him. Nakakatuwa dahil masaya ang lovelife pero work wise, I just felt that I am not growing. Same routine ang ginagawa ko. Wala na akong bagong natutunan. Wala nang development. Masaya si bf, masaya rin naman ako pero malungkot dahil nga sa trabaho. Then came...

Mid of 2010
NEW MANAGEMENT
Nagpalit kami ng boss. This time, a very demanding one. Lahat halos nanibago. Wala na ang petiks mode sa trabaho. I was excited! New challenge. 

He fixed everything in the company. Ang processes na dating mailap sa amin, biglang nagsipagdapuan sa opisina. Nagbago ang ganito, nagbago ang ganyan. Kumbaga, parang nagsimula kami uli.

Sa mga unang buwan niya sa opisina, since wala pa akong manager, ako ang point of contact sa department ko. Lahat ng demands, kailangang ma-meet. I stretched my abilities to meet his expectations. Hindi sa pagbubuhat ng bangko pero with the feedback that I got, I was able to prove myself to him. Pero kahit na ganun ang nangyari, kulang pa rin ang mga experience ko para maging maganda and department.

A managerial position for my department was posted. I wanted to apply but I backed out. Mainly because I know to myself that I am still not capable for the position. I was open to have a mother. A person who will guide me to achieve that post in the future. Then my Mother K was hired for the post. She became my manager, my mother.

A new account was launched. Since I was the only trainer that time, I was the person in-charge for the account. I will be the trainer for the account, kagaya ng sinabi ni Mother K. In short, I needed to master the processes of the account. Again, for the company AND for myself, I extended my abilities para sa trabaho. I was so hungry for new things, new knowledge.

We were able to launch the program successfully. During that time, I was super busy which resulted for me not to be with bf all the time. Every time that we’re together, since I’m super tired at work, wala na akong nagagawa kundi ang tabihan siya sa pagtulog. In short, medyo nawalan ako ng oras sa kanya. Inaamin ko, sobrang nabawasan ang oras ko sa kanya.

Then we decided to live together. I thought it will be a great help for us. But work demanded for more time. Nandun na yung nagkakausap at nagkakabonding kami pero sobrang hindi ganun kadalas kagaya ng dati. He started to complain about it. Siyempre, pinapaliwanag ko ang mga nangyayari. Na hindi kagaya ng dati ang work ko. Mas maraming ginagawa ngayon. Mas kailangang mag-focus sa work. Unfortunately, my explanations were not enough. He came to a point where in he compared my love for him with my passion for work.

Then he applied in our company. I agreed with it dahil alam kong makakatulong ito para maintindihan niya ang nangyayari sa akin. I also did my best to balance my time: Him, work, and friends.

Isang issue pa rin pala sa kanya ang pag-labas ko with my friends. He actually wanted, instead of spending time with my friends, I should spend time with him. Again, I explained that I also need to go out with my friends. Siyempre, iba pa rin yung may time ka with your friends.

Until now, I am still busy at work. I’m doing my best to master time management. Time management: Him, work, and friends. So far, nakaka-adjust na… Sana nga lang, napapansin niya na…

I just can’t help but to think: Bakit ba kung kelan nagiging ok na ako sa work tsaka naman nagkakaroon ng problema sa puso? Hindi ba pwedeng maging sabay?

Haaayy…